How to Know He Isn’t Going to Commit!
If you’ve ever had a friend who wasted all their youth waiting for a certain somebody to come around and commit to a serious relationship, you know very well that it’s not a predicament you would wish on even your worst enemy. Yet still these are the facts that the statistics reveal.
According to a research carried out by the Pew Research Centre, millennials are significantly less likely to be married than previous generations in their 20s. And a recent Gallup poll also revealed that the percentage of 18 to 29-year-olds who admit to being single and not living with a partner rose from 52 percent in 2004 to a whopping 64 percent in 2014. Marriage among 30-something year olds also dropped 10 percentage points within that decade, while the percentage living together rose from 7 to 13 percent.
So, although it might look like everyone is finding a man who cares about them, only a handful of women are in relationships with partners who are seriously committed to them. And by committed, I mean via a ring or by some regular display of love and affection, not by empty words coined out of Shakespearean literature.
While most men are good at faking it, there are certain signs that stick out when a man is clearly not interested in committing to a serious relationship. The moment you see any of these signs, RUN!
- You aren’t a priority to him.
If at this point, he’s able to cancel on you for a game or a night with the boys, just know you’re not a priority in his life. Consequently, there’s no way he’s going to commit to you if you’re not a priority in his life.
- He can’t define what you are.
If he gets dodgy or anxious whenever you ask, “What are we?”, that’s a huge red flag. If you’re with a guy who never wants to put a label on your relationship, that’s an obvious sign that he doesn’t see this arrangement going anywhere and neither should you.
- He has no long-term plans for you.
Besides date night tomorrow and Netflix & Chill on Friday, he never seems to talk about the distant future, he is obsessed with what you should do today or tomorrow but never talks about what both of you could do or achieve within the next 6 months, one year or even ten years. Run whenever you recognize this trait. His short-term mind could leave with long term damage.
- Exclusion from his personal life.
If he likes to keep his friends and family out of the conversation, it should be clear to you that he’s just here to play games. While an introduction to his friends and family is not a given that he’s going to commit to you, it does say a lot about how far he is thinking of going with you as a person.
- He is not interested in knowing you more.
If he doesn’t know anything about you and isn’t making any effort to discover anything about you like your background, values, dreams, aspirations etc, then it’s obvious he’s not really thinking that far into this. He probably isn’t that much interested in you, let alone committed to you.
- He is still very good friends with his ex
This one alone is enough reason for you to exit the pond. If he keeps an open relationship with his ex and doesn’t mind bringing her up in your conversations all the time, it’s clear he hasn’t really moved on and you’re probably just a rebound. He will definitely slip back and leave you looking like a fool. Don’t stay around long enough for this to happen to you.
- He cannot tell you he loves you.
If he has difficulty verbalizing his affections for you, it’s probably because they don’t exist. While many men are shy, they aren’t afraid to become vulnerable or express themselves to people they care about. If you find yourself with a man who stays away from statements that are indicative of love and affection, you’ve definitely landed in the zero-commitment zone.
- He cheats, all the time.
You would think that this was a given for most women but it would amaze you how many women stay with a cheating partner all in the hopes of changing him. Listen to this, when a man has been raised in an environment where he starts to believe that cheating is fine and that he can get away with it, nine months of dating Aphrodite herself will not reverse this mindset that took decades to build. If you notice early in a relationship that he loves to keep his choices open even while he’s with you, gently walk away. You’re a goddess. You should be his priority and not an option.
- He’s not open around you and remains very shallow.
If all you know about him is extremely surface-level, it’s a sign that he doesn’t trust you enough yet. When a man is ready to commit to a woman, he isn’t scared to bring her into his world. He shows her his dreams, his strengths, his failures and his flaws. If your man stays away from any conversations that will help you to know him on a deeper level, just know he’s not ready to share that connection with you.
- He can’t commit to anything else in his life.
Although this is last, this is the first one you should look out for. If a man can’t pledge his energy and time to other things in his life, such as a job, or a dream, there’s no way he’s going to be able to commit to you even if he says so. Last week he wanted to be a digital nomad travelling the world. Today, he wants to be the world’s greatest ever DJ. Next week, he’ll want to become America’s premier dating coach and it’s going to go on and on. Indecisiveness in other areas of his life is a tell-tale sign that a man will not commit to you anytime soon.
Just there I might have saved you a couple of years. You can now spot an unserious man from a mile away and while that is a valuable skill in itself, it creates another big question, “How Do I Make High-Value Men Commit to Me?”
You see, a few years ago, I was just a young girl with a dream of moving to Hollywood Hills, knowing fully well it was out of my reach. But here I am today, just a couple of years later, in my very own beautiful home in Hollywood Hills with the man of my dreams.
But why am I telling you this?
Because I don’t want you to settle. I don’t want you to reduce your value or negotiate with your goals by staying with a man that doesn’t appreciate your value and trust me, these men are everywhere.
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