Spice Up Romance with Healthy Conversations About Sex!
In a sex-crazed generation like ours where sexual tolerance is at an all-time high, you would think that conversations surrounding sex would be common in most relationships but sadly, that’s not the case.
This is partly because many of us grew up in a setting where talking about sex was ‘uncouth’ and so, it still feels uncomfortable discussing it even with a partner however, according to social scientist Joseph Grenny, “Couples who discuss tricky topics, like what's going down in the bedroom, are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who ignore difficult subjects” That means if you want to have a happy and long lasting relationship, you can’t forgo this topic.
Here are 6 guidelines to follow in order to have a healthy conversation about sex with your partner.
- Schedule, Schedule, Schedule: Don’t bring this up in the middle of a sexual episode. Alternatively, plan this ahead of time. Let him know in advance that you’ll really love to have a conversation about your sex life and how to keep it amazing. Also, pick the perfect time of day and place to discuss this. For the best outcome, keep out of the bedroom. A place within or outside the home that’s more neutral would do. You could also have this discussion while out on a date. Only thing is, make sure you’re far from any prying ears
- Organize Your Thoughts: Take a break and organize your thoughts if you’re not sure what you want to say. Remember, the essence of the conversation is come up with practical solutions that will spice up your sex life. You can’t say things like, “I’m just not satisfied”. You need to be specific about what you want. Also do some in depth research if necessary because you’ll need to give him as much detail about your body and what he needs to do with it in order to make sure you’re fully satisfied.
- Start from the Basics: If you have a partner that’s not very verbal, this is the best way to go. Start off easy. Talk about intimacy for a short while. Talk about the relationship itself and how much you value it. Then, you can delve into some of the deep stuff.
- Compliment, then Suggest- This is not an argument. It’s a chat with the person you are attracted to. The worst thing you can do is to complain. Start off with a compliment. Talk about something they do that you like, and throw in your concern as an additional thing they could do to make you feel better. For example, instead of saying, “You’re too lazy in bed” You could say, “I feel you like to stay relaxed and vulnerable whenever we’re at it, which is attractive, but anytime you switch that energy and get a bit more into it, that takes me to a whole new level. I’d be glad if you could do that for me often” Too many words, but you get the idea, right?
- Explore Your Fantasies and Discuss Your Limits: Here, you can talk about everything. Discuss things that you are both comfortable doing during sex and clearly state things that make you uncomfortable. This part of the conversation here is what will make or break your sex life. If done right, you could be living your own sexual fairy-tale every night or so.
- Make Sure the Conversation Stays Calm, Fun and Direct: Don’t overburden yourselves with subject matter. Stick to one or two topics every time you discuss your sexual life. This should give you a clear idea on what you both need to work on after the conversation. Also, make sure to keep the atmosphere light. Smile and laugh when you need to. BE yourself and make sure the conversation is one he would look forward to having every now or so.
Make Sure to look out for my upcoming book that is coming out very soon! It will teach you how to date like a queen and ultimately secure that ring!